Days of My Life
by 1Phantom Pherax2
Summary: XT UP No matter what Naruto does he hears an annoying narrator. And he’s the only one! How does one solve such a problem? Especially when the narrator is perverted. Yaoi NaruSasu SasuNaru comedy
1. Chapter 1

No matter what Naruto does he hears an annoying announcer. And he's the only one! How does one solve such a problem? _Yaoi_ NaruSasu SasuNaru _comedy_

A/N: Heyp, heyp, heyp! 3 Hello everyone!

Disclaimer: I'm never one for great Author's Notes in the first chapter. But anyway, this is a NaruSasu, SasuNaru comedy. The rating is high, so if you don't like that sort of thing, then leave now because flamers are not allowed. You have been warned, so think before you act. But those that do go on and continue, I hope you enjoy it.

**Days of My Life 1 **

**He wasn't sure when it started, or the better excuse as to how it started. He was certain it didn't happen the night before when he went to bed, but when he awoke the next morning, there it was. Annoying, always there, picking and prodding…**

"_**It started as any normal day for Uzumaki, Naruto, but the young ninja was ever hopeful."**_

**Had he mentioned annoying? That always jumped to the top of the 'Why-I-Hate-This' list. Even if it were number one already. With a heavy sigh he threw the covers away from him and stood, stretching his arms over his head.**

"_**His blood coursed through his body at the excitement of a new day."**_

**Naruto grumbled. "Who the hell are you anyway?!" he demanded. When he didn't receive an answer he trotted into the kitchen for his usual breakfast of ramen and milk. At that point in his day he figured the voice was gone, that the annoying announcer was just something in his head. As he had his mouth filled with beef ramen he dearly wished he was right.**

"_**RAMEN!"**_

**The noodles spewed from Naruto's mouth and his hand went to his chin, wiping away the saliva and leftover soup. "Dammit," he grumbled under his breath.**

"_**Always the ninja's favorite food, he uses it to fuel him for his day."**_

"**It'll fuel me for something else if you don't leave me alone!" Naruto yelled slamming a fist onto the table. His milk spilt on the floor and his hand went to his forehead with a smack.**

"_**He'd been through many things and learned from experience not to cry over spilt milk."**_

**Naruto sighed, leaning over to pick up the milk carton. There wasn't much left in it, nevertheless, he downed it quickly. Sliding the back of his hand over his lips he felt pumped.**

"_**Uzumaki Naruto, he…"**_

"**SHUT UP ALREADY!!" Naruto screamed in the confines of his apartment. Grabbing his orange blazer out of his closet he mumbled and gripped under his breath the entire time. Pulling up the zipper he couldn't help but glance around, wondering where the narrator even came from, or why he was narrating him. He continued to insist to himself that it was nothing more then his mind playing games on him. The annoying narration would quit on its own. Closing the door behind him he took in the deepest breath he could remember. The cold winter air brought his body to a chill and he shook it off just as quickly as it came. "Ah, now this is more like it." With a sprint he was off to find his team.**

**Team Seven of the Konoha genin; it consisted of Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and himself, Uzumaki Naruto. While Sakura was indeed the most talented at chakra control, she was by far, the leese impressive. Though she had blossomed during the Chunin exams, she felt she still had a long way to go before she was even close to catching up to the point both Naruto and Sasuke had crossed long ago.**

**Sasuke was surely the most proud. His family being killed by his older brother, he had something he needed to achieve. It was the very reason why he strived to be strong. Naruto drove him the rest of the way. While Sasuke was strong, he found himself knowing Naruto was still stronger then him. It was one of the reasons why he admired Naruto, but would never tell him.**

"**Hey guys!" Naruto shouted waving his hand over his head. His usual symbol that he was ready for anything.**

**The pink haired kunoichi's hands found comfortable places at each of her hips and she leaned over, for reasons beyond him, and glared at him. Once again, as always, she proceeded to give him a speech about being late. He simply laughed it off. She knew he was usually late, yet she continued to lecture him about it as if it was something she wasn't used to.**

"_**Not just his teammates, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura, were also his closest friends in the Hidden Leaf Village."**_

**Naruto jumped back, surprised and angered at the same time. Sakura looked at him, blinking confused. "Are you okay Naruto?" she wondered.**

"**Don't tell me you didn't just hear that!" Naruto yelled pointing to nothing more than thin air. Both Sasuke and Sakura looked around. Neither one of them saw anything. Sasuke stepped forward.**

"**There's no one else here but us, dobe. Kakashi-sensei is late again, so stop trying to play some stupid trick on us."**

**Naruto's jaw dropped. "I'm not playing a trick!! Even if I was, I'd find something better than this! Come on! He said, 'Not just his teammates, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura, were also his closest friends in the Hidden Leaf Village'! You didn't hear that?!"**

**He stopped when he realized he shouldn't have said everything the narrator had said. Two pairs of eyes starred at him bewildered. Sasuke's right brow raised as Sakura's furrowed together. Sasuke proceeded to shake his head. "You really are a dobe."**

"**I didn't mean it like that!" Naruto tried to cover up.**

"**So we're not your friends then?" Sasuke tormented with a smirk. Sakura giggled as Naruto became flustered. His hands racked through his blonde hair, scratching at his scalp.**

"**Gah!! You guys are missing the point!"**

"**And what is the point?" Sakura asked half smiling.**

"**I'm a kinky sex kitten!!" Naruto stopped immediately and slapped both hands over his mouth. There was no way he had just said that. That wasn't what he wanted to say! It wasn't it at all:This is bad: he thought to himself. :This is very, very bad:**

"_**The ninja found himself in quite the pickle, but did he let that get him down? The heart of the airheaded ninja remained ever vigilant!"**_

**Naruto's head ducked between his shoulder. :Oh come on, they seriously can't hear him?: he wondered with his hands still covering his mouth. He watched as Sasuke and Sakura starred at him wide eyed and motionless. He swallowed hard, and Sasuke was the first to let go. A smile wider then Naruto had ever seen spread across his face and he fell to his knees bursting with laughter. He laughed so hard Naruto could see his shoulder shaking. Sakura soon followed, unable to keep any sanity she had should she have to keep it in. She slapped her knee to go along with her high pitched laughter.**

**Beneath his hands Naruto could feel his face burn; the winter wether itself unable to cool him down this time.**

"_**Could it be that he's only able to say his deepest, darkest thoughts?"**_

**Naruto glared off into space, thinking of the narrator as the source of his glare. :It better not be dammit: He sighed beneath his hands, but neither Sakura or Sasuke were done laughing yet. As they laughed he wondered why he was the only one able to hear the annoying narrator? And just how long was he planning on sticking around? His hands dropped to his sides. He was in for one hell of a day.**

A/N: First chapters are usually short for me, but they get longer. XD Anyway, trust me, it's rated M for a REASON.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I think the first chapter went over pretty well. XD Yay! I have reviewers to thank!

Shadowpheonix143. Thank you! I don't write many comedys, mainly because I'm not that funny, but I'll keep going for ya!

Astoroche. I thank you. XP Hopefully, it gets funnier. As for sexy, yeah it definitely gets sexier.

The Kyuubi maiden. Thank you too! I shall keep going/trudges through freezing rain to continue with the story/

Kamiam714. I hear a voice now! Her name is Shuri too. /side glances muse-

_Shuri: What? Got a problem??_

No, course not…no problem…whatsoever…

xXkawaii-chanXx. Glad you like it. Here's more for you.

**Days of My Life 2**

**Going home had been a pain in the ass. Neither Sakura nor Sasuke would quit laughing at him. Kakashi-sensei didn't understand why they were laughing at him when he got there, and thus refused to ask questions. Their mission was a general one, a C ranked mission since most of the higher ones had been taken already. They were to rescue a young man, not a ninja, from being attacked by a wild tiger. While the situation itself was serious, they wouldn't stop laughing at him the entire trip there or back. Remembering it only made them laugh in front of the young man they saved. When the man asked what they were laughing about, Naruto nearly begged on his knees not to tell them, but any amount of sympathy they had for him ran out the door with self control right behind it. The man they saved couldn't stop busting a gut until he got home.**

**Now, at the front door of his apartment complex, Naruto couldn't get the laughing faces of Sakura, Sasuke, or the man they had rescued out of his head. Why had he said that? That was strictly something he kept to himself forever. It was the truth, but then, whoever said he wanted Sasuke to know that?**

"_**Even after he reached home the faces of his friends haunts the blond ninja."**_

**Naruto's head dropped. "Why can't anyone else besides me hear you!?" he yelled.**

"_**Just lucky I guess."**_

"**What the hell?! You mean you can hear me talking back to you?!"**

"_**Not letting the laughing faces of his friends get to him, Uzumaki Naruto remained ever vigilant of his goal to become Hokage."**_

**Naruto's hands balled into fists as he grumbled under his breath. "Stupid narrator, saying things I already know. Who does he think he is, making me look crazy in front of everyone?" In his living room he unzipped his jacket and threw it on the back of a random chair and on a table close to it he lifted a face down picture. He sighed. Sasuke wasn't supposed to know about him being a kinky sex kitten. :Stop saying that!: he told himself.**

"_**His heart yearned for him. Yearned for his touch, yearned for…"**_

"**Go any farther and I swear I will find you and kill you on the spot!" Naruto threatened. The room was quiet and he laid the picture back where it was. "Stupid narrator." Lifting the white under shirt over his head he walked with it into the bathroom and let it fall on top of the sink. Twisting the knobs inside his bathtub, he waited for the shower to warm up before relieving himself of his pants. "I need a shower after today."**

"_**Damn, you have a fine ass."**_

**Naruto's eyes widened immensely and he turned around quickly. Of course there was no one there, it had been the narrator. "Hey! I thought you were only supposed to narrate my life! Not ogle over my ass!"**

"_**That wasn't in the job description."**_

"**You **can **answer me! I know you can!" He didn't receive another statement. The only thing he could here was the running of the shower. Moving aside the shower curtain he stepped underneath the hot rush of water and sighed deeply, trying to relax. He smiled as he tilted his head back and let the water rush down his neck and chest.**

"_**Uzumaki Naruto!"**_

**Naruto glowered. His relaxation was cut so short. "Not again…"**

"_**The ninja with the finest body in all of Konoha! Mm, MM! Give me a piece of that!"**_

**Taking a step back Naruto nearly fell over from slipping on the bathtub floor. He grabbed the curtain and held onto it tightly. "Oh come on! I am **not **for you to fondle at!"**

"_**Sexy!"**_

**Naruto growled at the male narrator. "If all you're gonna do is make sexual remarks about me, then do it somewhere else!!"**

"_**Oh, that's nice Naruto…"**_

**Immediately Naruto rushed out of the shower and covered himself in a towel. The towel was quickly soaked with the water that streamed down his body. "Okay, **now** you're getting creepy."**

"_**Keep going, don't stop…"**_

**Naruto's hands left the grip they had on his towel and clamped over his ears. "I'm not hearing this!!! La, la, la, la, la!!" He didn't have to move for it to happen; he just really wished it hadn't. He hadn't hooked the towel to his waist. When his hands moved from the towel to his ears, the cloth fell to his ankles. Instinctively his hands moved away and he went to grab the towel.**

"_**You're so big Naruto, it won't fit…"**_

**Standing straight enough to be a stick, Naruto's face beamed bright red. He started to cry as his head dropped and he headed out of the bathroom. "Why me? I really don't get it." He fell to his knees in the living room at hearing the narrator come to a moaning climax that made his entire body shudder violently. :That is going to haunt me…for the rest of my life!:**

"**Are you done?" he asked, afraid the answer would be no. He waited and sighed when he didn't get an answer. It would take a lot, **a lot**, of forgetting to wipe away what he just heard.**

**Afraid to take off the towel Naruto went into the kitchen and once again made him some ramen, making sure to eat it carefully this time. He heard nothing from the narrator for the rest of the night. The nightmare must have been over. With a sigh, he snuggled under the sheets of his bed, and slept. He didn't care at all that he was still wearing the towel.**

A/N: Trust me, that isn't the end. XP Naruto has to go through sooo much more torture than that. So stick around to see what happens!


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